Things I Bet U Didn't Know

1 . Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The "spot" on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13 Most lipstick contains fish scales.

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the "upper case" letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, "lower case" letters.

17. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time hence, multi-tasking was invented.)

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your Wife with anything wider than your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher..

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.

34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart .. "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her fanny off to jail."

INCREASE YOUR WORD POWER FOR 2007

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace and elsewhere!!!
1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard
4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered inoperative due to excessive wear on magnetic strip.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer......
14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).
18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm. - Author Unknown

Top Ten Favorite things from 2006
10. I'm still healthy
9. My parents are still healthy
8. I've met more great people all over the world from playing ARGs and from TVClubhouse
7. Promoted to Major in the USAFR in May
6. Successful & profitable state dietetics meeting in April
5. Flew to Chicago for a fun weekend in July
4. Enjoyed the national dietetics meeting in HAWAII (and saw the Lost Beach)
3. Saved the world from the evil Spoocheeeee empire
2. Got to see Thule AB, Greenland and 24 hrs of sunlight
1. The most wonderful man in the world still belongs to me, 11 years and going strong

Plans for 2007
1. Have already given up french fries (over two weeks ago) and will continue to avoid them
2. Regular morning/evening jogs around the neighborhood
3. Home improvement list:
a) New bathtub/shower (master bathroom)
b) New sinks (master bathroom)
c) New sink (downstairs bathroom)
d) New kitchen (counters, oven/stove, sink, dishwasher, garbage disposal, cabinets)
e) Paint insidef) Paint outside
g) New carpet (except in the living room - put in wood flooring)

TV for 2007

So, now the fall season is over....what's left on the "my TV watch list"?

Heroes
Prison Break
Battlestar Galactica
Lost
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
30 Rock
ER
Top Chef
Survivor
Smallville
Las Vegas
CSI
The Unit
Boston Legal
The Class
How I Met Your Mother
Friday Night Lights
Grey's Anatomy

And those seasonal shows coming back:
Dancing with the Stars
American Idol
Apprentice (I'll bet this is the last season)
Project Runway
Biggest Loser

I have no idea what is coming out as mid-season replacements. But I'll add my vote in support of those wacky fellows doing the "Nobody's Watching" shorts on You Tube. Paul Campbell is a cutie (much better looking without that terrible hair he had in Battlestar Galactica).

Yes, I watch a lot of tv.

Growing Old is No Laughing Matter

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92! . Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart. "Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week "

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

--- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Getting to Hawai'i was not fun

1. Review flight options on a couple of travel sites, book flights via Orbitz that leaves home around 6:20a, connects through LAX at 8:45a and delivers me and my friend to Honolulu around noon.
2. Three days before trip find out that the 6:20a flight is now a 6:45a flight so Orbitz (or the airline) has changed me to a later flight out of LAX (leaves at 10:35a, arrives at 1:10p).
3. 5:30a check luggage at the United ticket counter; very quick lines at both ticketing & security. Leave Las Vegas at 6:45a without a hitch.
4. Arrive at LAX a few minutes early, walk over to Hawaiian Airline's, terminal, nice weather. Reach the terminal at 8:00a (plenty of time, right?)
5. The Hawaiian Airline flight is CANCELLED! Stand in long line. While standing in line the cell phone rings and it's a voice mail. Orbitz called at 6:30a (when the phone was turned off because I was on the first flight). "Your connection to Honolulu was cancelled, we have rebooked you on United leaving 1:35p to Maui arriving at 5:00p, then on Hawaiian 545 leaving at 5:45p to Honolulu, arriving at 6:15p". Traveling companion who had booked identical itinerary has no phone message.
6. 8:40a my traveling companion calls Orbitz (twice) to eventually find out that they had rebooked her on United direct to Honolulu, leaving at 8:40a. Whoops! Wish we had known that when we got off our United flight at 7:30a. We are still in line at Hawaiian Airlines. Someone announces that they are rebooking people on flights that don't leave until after 3:30p.
7. Call Orbitz on behalf of less experienced (in traveling) companion and explain (3 times) that the flight was missed because she was not notified in a timely manner, that sending an email is not appropriate when the itinerary clearly showed she was enroute (i.e. on a PLANE and had no access to email). Patiently wait on hold (burning cellular minutes) for the Orbitz person (and after requesting to be transfered to a supervisor which resulted in a transfer to "scheduling", but fortunately someone who actually speaked English) who then calls United Airlines and continues on hold.....while we are still in line at Hawaiian Airlines.
8. Traveling companion gets booked on a United flight directly to Honolulu that leaves at 1:05p. How come she gets a direct flight and I have to bounce through Maui?
9. 9:45a get to the Hawaiian Airline ticket counter, verify I have a reservation on United at 1:35p but they are confused since it is taking me to Maui (they don't see the hop back to Honolulu at first). They cannot get our luggage since it is either a) gone on the earlier flight or b) in a pile of luggage for the cancelled flight but there are no baggage handlers available because they are working at the ticket counter helping to rebook the passengers.
10. Go back over to the United terminal (on the other side of the airport) to stand in another long line to get our tickets.
11. 10:30a reach the United ticket window. Won't let me get on same direct flight because "it is already overbooked" (then how did she get a ticket? because someone behind the scenes got her a seat that was designated for more expensive tickets???) Ask to be on the standbye list and was told that since my ticket is to go to Maui, I cannot fly standbye to Honolulu (but check at the gate when I get there, the two gates are right next to eachother).
12. 11:30a have a large beer at the sport bar in the terminal.
13. 12:15p ask the gate desk to get on the standbye list for the direct flight. No problem but no promises.
14. 12:45p I GOT ON THE FLIGHT!!! Get on the flight with a center seat bulkhead with the big screen right above my head. Good view for the a) TV show - First episode of Friday Night Lights, b) Movie - Xmen III. Sweet!!!
15. 3:45p arrive in Honolulu. Really nice to have a lei greeting, and Nolan takes good care of us. Very patient and understanding of our upcoming luggage woes. United finds out that Hawaiian Airlines has my traveling companion's luggage, but not mine. Fill out missing baggage tag.
16. 5:30p Hotel checkin, no problem. Nice room (bar band down below at the pool is a little loud, but they stopped at 9p on weekdays, 10p on weekends). 8:30p check United website for baggage, says "N/A". Fortunately, my toothbrush was in my carryon.
17. Wake up 3:00a local time (Whoops, went to bed too early). United website still says "N/A" - getting very nervous. Put on yesterday's clothing. Need breakfast.
18. 4:30a check at bell desk on way to breakfast "just in case" - ooh, my name is on a list...... YES!!! Give Bell Captain a hug and run back to the room to hang everything up (it's all there, safe & sound).

I do not recommend most of these steps.

What Are You Going to Watch This Fall?

But only a few are still appointment TV. Like 'Lost','Survivor' and 'Amazing Race'. There are some new shows that I will check out - but I hate the idea of getting involved if they are just going to get cancelled (i.e. 'Surface' and 'Commander in Chief').

Meanwhile - what about all the Cable Shows that aren't on that schedule? Like the Stargates ('SG1' and 'Atlantis') and my other appointment TV - 'Battlestar Galactica'? I also plan to continue enjoying 'Mythbusters' and most of the Poker shows. 'Eureka' has been a nice summer fling. And 'Who Wants to be a Superhero' was one of my summer guilty pleasures.

Let's see what's still happening after October.